i'm not reading comments (maybe)

ok - so .. another blog. I don't know why I don't just tack my writings onto each other and instead decide to divide my traffic this way. i suppose, i don't really care about traffic too much and more about remaining anonymous. of course, with blogger (aka google) linking your blog to your name and google profile, that isn't really going to work. so, i'm out. judge me if you want. i write pretty bluntly, i often rant, i try to be funny (but occasionally people don't get it .. or i'm just not funny); sometimes i change my mind, sometimes i reread an entry months later and realize i sound pretentious - you may notice this right away, but please cut me some slack and don't destroy my spirit with mean comments. actually, i should probably not read the comments to prevent spirit destruction and termination of blogging drive. oh, and in case you haven't noticed -- i write as i think, and it's (mostly) all lower case (not always) -- which may not produce the most elegant syntax but it's how i have to do it to make it flow (here). and i love parentheses (it's for my after-thoughts .. or concurrent thoughts, rather).

i will try to blog at least twice a week. so book-mark me if you don't want to lose me in the blogosphere.

why do i write?

because i must.  i have several blogs (started in 2005) but they are all disconnected (or most of them are) because they represent such different sides of me, which i fear may alienate people. especially, if the person who reads this knows me. of course, one thing i have learned is that we _all_ have our different sides. some have darker or more depressing secrets than others but (especially as one gets older) nobody just has a happy dandy life without any interference of drama, sadness, or insanity.

anyway, ... this blog will just be about my daily parenting struggles. it is a continuation of a blog i kept on marriage and the challenges of raising small children with a full-time job and an inert husband. i was married for 12 years. we divorced when my daughters were 5 and 3 years old after which i entered a relationship with a man who became my best friend. he turned out to be deeply troubled but he was my soul-mate and in my time with him i learned the meaning of true unconditional love. i loved him _unconditionally_ and when he died, at age 36, in the beginning of this year, I think he knew that.